How come when someone else has something, I want it. But when I get it, it’s like I don’t care about it anymore.
…says Kaia to me the other day. She had just made some new friends down our street and they have the most incredible tree swing perched above a ledge in their backyard…
Now just imagine, for a moment, the extraordinary nature of this “back yard.” This is Topanga, where owning 10 acres is a drop in the bucket. Folks around where I live (rent) own 40 – 60 acres and it’s no biggie. This backyard is massive, as in, encompasses an entire hill with acres and acres of land, even a tennis court about a 10 minute walk from the main property. The tire+ rope swing is securely attached to an ancient oak tree and dangles over a ravine, adjacent to the main house. It’s entirely magical, like something out of an 19th century novel. Wilderness. Trees, and Kids, laughing.
Kaia had grabbed me by the arm, wanting to show me their swing. “Will you push me, mommy!” she said, no question in her voice, more of a command. 🙂
I began, with little pushes.
“Harder!,” she squealed. “Harder!”
Over and over again, her body like a pendulum swung forward and backward, tracing simultaneous joy, fear, desire and abandonment.
“OK, mommy!!! SSSSSTTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPP!”
And I did. We left soon after. It was getting dark and P12 (the mountain lion) had somewhat recently devoured a bunch of goats that were left unattended. We had our puppy with us, and I didn’t feel like using her for lion bait.
As we walked the 1/2 mile back to our house, we talked about everything and anything, including the elusive desire to have what others have. And the strange nature of having — in that once that thing that we so deeply desire is ours, it’s no longer desired with the same intensity. Over time, the desire fades entirely away, until all is left is a new desire for a new thing.
I told Kaia why I think it’s far more valuable to gift her experiences rather than things. Not that I don’t get her things. I do. Just not many. Instead, I prefer to give her experiences, things she wouldn’t normally do in the real world, like Daybreaker’s early-morning yoga+ dance sessions (sober dance party). It always amazes me how many of us dance lovers are willing to get up at 4-something am to make a 5am yoga class and a 6:30am – 8:30am dance party (on a school/work morning!). Kaia loves Daybreaker. At one of the parties, she was crowned “The Unicorn Princess,” and lifted up by the crowd high up. I watched my girl beaming joy from every pore as she held onto her unicorn pinata and the MC said, “The Unicorn Princess….” I tried to get a good photo, but I was looking into the morning light and just got shadows. That’s OK, I told myself. It’s a memory in my mind.
About two seconds later, a woman I don’t know came up to me and said, “Is that your girl?”
“Yes,” I smiled.
“I got the best picture of her, ” she showed me her iPhone. And smiled, handing it to me. “Send it to yourself.”
That woman was an angel. And thanks to my friend Kirsten (another angel), I had the photo blown up where it now hangs up on our wall.
Another experience I love to give Kaia is Lightning In A Bottle (LIB). My article about this year’s LIB explores, “What’s your Why?” As in, what motivates the artists, organizers and attendees to do what we do? I received the most incredible feedback from that article, including someone I don’t know from Australia who emailed me to thank me for the piece. Now that feels good. it was published in LA Yoga Magazine…you can check it out here, if ya like.
So what’s the point of this, you’re asking yourself?
Experiences. They remain deep in our hearts.
Whereas things often fade away, are thrown away, break, or get lost.
I’m now looking even more deeply at the experiences I gift to my daughter. As I begin the process of loosing my mom, I embrace even more deeply the process of being the best mom I can be to my kid.
I’m hoping to inspire others to do the same. To share, to feel, to grieve, when needed, as I shared in my recent #randomtalkingvideo on IG. It’s important to not judge ourselves (for too long.) Sure, we all will self-judge. Who are we kidding?. We’re human.That’s part of our predicament. Flesh and blood and bone. With a spiritual center that desires to be greater than, free of. But we are here. On this Earth. We must feel and feel deeply. We must not keep it in. Feel it. Share it in the way that most benefits our soul, and then let that sh%t go.
And when you’re ready, give the gift of experiences to your friends, your family, your co-workers, your employees.
And for those of us scarred by experiences, let them go, one by one. Feel and let go. My pelvic-heart-skull meditation is great for this. It’s just over 9 min long, and I put it up onto Google Drive this time, as some of you don’t seem to like Dropbox. 🙂
Until next week, y’all.
May your Hearts Be Well.
P.S. – I just recently unsubscribed about 400 people from this list.
This list has been built up over many, many years. And what I’m doing now is far different from what I did previously with my email newsletters.
I don’t care about numbers (getting the most followers, etc.) What I care about is having people who are interested in what I’m sharing. So I unsubscribed people who hadn’t opened the last 5 weeks of emails. I figured – hey, unopened email is clutter and clutter drags us down. I explained this nicely and gave everyone the option of signing back up. I got super positive responses from everyone, except for one person. It was interesting to see her reaction to a “thing” that she didn’t even want.
I’m saying this because if you’re reading this, I thank you for connecting to me and my life.
And if you’re not (well, you won’t be reading this, will ya… ha ha). If you’re not interested, please don’t humor me. It’s not necessary. You won’t hurt my feelings. I encourage you to unsubscribe.
Not everything is meant for everyone.
I’m not sure where I’m headed.
I know writing long-form again is in my future. I’ve already begun one project – a children’s book. Another one is in the works.
I’m going to continue to offer more meditations, and soon will begin an online meditation course.
I’m connecting back with yoga studios to offer pre/post natal + a deep stretch/slow-flow class that’s aimed at everyone (not pregnancy.)
It’s fall, and things are getting busier again. I have a few new private clients and am happy to share what I love with them.
So much more… I encourage your feedback. I’d love to hear if and how my personal sharings are helping you or influencing you.