The heat drives me bonkers…

Most of my years in LA have been by the ocean, where it’s a comfy 65- 78 degrees, year round. If it hits 80 degrees, whew! Bring on the complaints…we are having a heat wave. I never got migraines in Venice or Santa Monica or Mar Vista. I used to feel miserable all summer long in Tucson. When I lived in the MId-City area, I got them occasionally. But it’s been awhile, and I forgot about how bad they can be.

Now that I’m in Topanga, with no AC, if it gets to be 90 -100 degrees, they start creeping up on me. If I go to the valley, where it’s been 104 – 118, I get ’em in less than 20 minutes. Pound. Pain. Misery. Absolutely hate ’em.

So I can either be miserable (and for good reason), or I can find a way to create gratitude amongst my discomfort.

Gratitude Exercise #1: Luckily, my Topanga home is about 10-15 degrees cooler than the outside because I’m halfway “underground,” built into the side of a hill. Luckily, I have multiple fans, including a mini-swamp-cooler fan moving air inside. Luckily, if I mainly head out only in the morning and evening, it’s absolutely gorgeous and if I stay inside during the day, I can manage.

Gratitude.

Ya know what else I’m grateful for? After a month of searching….We have a puppy!!! 

Riley is a gorgeous, 8 month old German Shepherd female. Her owner couldn’t care for her anymore. We were the first people to call in on his ad and the first to meet her. It was wuuuvvv… twooo wwuvvv at first site (if you don’t get that reference, rent “The Princess Bride” tonight). When we walked into her (previous) owner’s home, she didn’t bark. Instead, she came over gently and sniffed me. Sniffed Kaia.

And then laid down right at Kaia’s feet. That was the sign I was looking for. She wanted us!

She’s been an angel and I am so grateful.

Living in and with the bright side of everything is my only choice because any other choice, frankly, is emotionally exhausting and out of my control. Like with my 14th year, post car-accident, where I didn’t take a single step for nine months: In the hospital, in traction, on my back for a month. In a brace and wheelchair for two months. In a body cast for six months. Then on crutches for more months. I held onto Gratitude…for the things that I had.

Nothing is more important than Life itself.

If you’re reading this and you’re not grateful just to be alive, you have a serious problem. Correct it, any way you can. Religion helps. Spirituality helps. Exercise helps. Meditation helps. I’m not going to tell you how to find your path because it’s yours. And I’m not here to judge anyone else’s path. . Because I can promise you this. if you can’t find JOY for being ALIVE, you’ll never be HAPPY. No relationship, career, no amount of money, no amount of experiences, no amount of pleasure will make you happy. Nothing.

Doesn’t mean you have to be happy-happy-joy-joy fake all the time. That’s BS. Feel what you need to feel and practice non-attachment to the feeling. Be in the moment. I get angry when I need to. I feel sadness when I need to. I feel frustration and powerlessness when I need to. And then, I let it go.

This week at the gym, I felt it all: tremendous frustration, powerlessness and sadness. I hate gyms. Not my place at all. And I hate the Valley (sorry, Valley people. Not my place at all.) So I’m at a gym in the Valley, and I have all my inner sh*t going for me about the heat and being in a gym. On top of that, the gym brings back memories of my car accident and self-rehab.

After my accident, I never got proper PT. I used the machines at the gym to try and build back muscle on my severely atrophied left leg, but I never built it back correctly. Now, I’m back, rebuilding my atrophied Vastus Medialis. All it took was the leg extension machine, and I was immediately plunged into sadness, frustration, anger and feeling helpless. I felt frustration from the physical pain of the loose pieces of bone that are still present and occasionally become lodged where they shouldn’t be.

Stem cell therapy is healing my cartilage, but no one promised me it would get rid of the loose pieces of bone. One in particular is 1/2″ long and when it gets lodged in the meniscus, it hurts. Hopefully, over time, it gets lodged in a “happier place.” 

Even more so than pain, I felt powerlessness. I went back in time to the body of that 14 year old girl, who had no power in her physical form. It all came back to me, in a fraction of an instant on the leg extension.

On the way back from the gym, I recognized my gratitude again. I can walk without pain. I can climb stairs and hike without pain. How freaking awesome is that?

So…whatcha holdin’ onto today?

The crap? The shit? The maddening things that are outta your control?  Is that what you talk about when you reach out to your friends? Your problems?

Ever notice how talking about your problems just spins the energy round and round? It feeds it. And then, next time you see your friends, you have to update them on those same problems, which may have just stayed in the past, but you just brought them back up again…pretty soon, it becomes habitual. I need to vent, you say. But really, that’s just BS. You are just addicted to feeding your problem with your words, your vital life force. In the end, it’s an endless cycle of crap…

Why not practice talking about your joys? Your loves? Your moments of humor and living life? Practice talking about the things with your control. Practice empowering yourself.

I like to uphold and give attention and space to the fragments of joy that can be found anywhere and everywhere, if but look… And if I absolutely need to vent about something, I do so. But if I find myself venting about the same thing more than once, then I have a problem and I need to work it out differently and ASAP.

..usually it gets worked out through meditation, writing, movement, time in nature, de-toxing from energy vampires and self-inquiry…